Updates, New Year.

b4ndito, Wed Jan 02 2013, 03:26AM

Lately I've been working on converting a few short story ideas I've had into a novel. It's gelling together pretty well. I just need to write a lot of stuff cohesively enough that it can actually become a novel and not a bunch of disjointed word documents. I am really enjoying myself. I spend lots of time in the shower because I brainstorm/touch myself in there.

I want to start school in a week. I don't know if the money is there or not to do so. If so, I get to be back in school (yay!) and I get free student tickets to go to every University of Cincinnati Men's Basketball game (Yay x2!). If not, I have to wait until August and watch games on TV or something (Okay!).

My family is still keeping me down. That sentiment seems to be shared with every other person I've met, ever, so I guess that's pretty status quo. I'm desperate to move out soon, even if it is a terrible financial decision, because my sanity is worth innumerably more to me than the dollar bills. Besides, once I publish this novel I've barely written I'll probably find a way to scrape above the poverty line.

I had the most interesting night of my life the Thursday before Christmas. After work I met up with my stepbrother and his friends at a bar to watch the Bearcats beat up Duke in the Belk Bowl (yay!) and to watch the Bearcats hoops team lose to New Mexico (boo!). It got realllllllly weird after that. Some chick that none of us had ever met walked up to one dude at our table and grabbed him and started making out with him. No words between any of us. We went into attack mode and scooped her and her friends and a couple other attractive-ish girls from the bar and brought them back to our dude's house to chill in his hot tub and drink more and shit. It pretty much turned into an orgy. One guy banged one girl in one of the rooms in the basement and I banged one girl in the hot tub, in full view of my brother and everyone else. It was pretty rad, except that jacuzzi sex is one of the most uncomfortable and frustrating things ever.

This girl had a ton of ink on her, and it was allllllllllllll terrible; the kind of generic shit that makes you roll your eyes and some shit worse than that. The colors of the Italian flag on the state of California because she was 1/4 Italian and wanted to move to Cali or some shit. She was fucking stupid. Anyways, I took her inside and banged her under to pool table anyway. Guess I was just in the mood to bang a dumb chick. So I turn her over and pulled her hair and realize she has a bunch of cursive text all down her back. A lot of it. It was song lyrics. To a Miley Cyrus song. This is why you always wear a condom, children. If you don't you might actually impregnate someone dumb enough to permanently tattoo a Miley Cyrus song down her back.

The girl I hooked up with brought her friend there with her, but her friend passed out quick. It got to be about 6am and I just wanted to go to sleep on the floor because I was in limbo between drunk and hungover. Her friend woke up and demanded that they needed to go home or some shit and I was like, "Kpeace". They went to the dude who's house we were at and woke him up and said they had to grab something out of his car. He gave them his keys and the next thing we see is the headlights from his SUV shining on the snowcapped pine trees along the property line. These dumb drunk motherfuckers stole his ride. Of course it's trash night too, so they back into his garbage cans and break a bunch of bottles there and it makes a huge ruckus that wakes his dad (He was home for Christmas break). It was like a mad nude scramble for us to all get our clothes on and leave. We all had wet underwear and shit from the jacuzzi so everyone runs to my car commando and sans bras. We rolled out quick.

So I have to drive two girls home at like 7am, drive back to the bar we were at to find if his car was there (it was), and then drive me and my bro home. It was exhausting. It took three days to recover. It was fucking awesome.