My cousin dumped me because of something I had no control over.
Wu-banga, Fri Nov 03 2006, 12:30AMI'm so anxious right that I'm literally shaking, but I'll type this out to the best of my ability. Last night I went over to my cousins dorm and we went into the shower together because her 3 roommates were still home. Anyway, we're starting to kiss and I feel a fart coming on. The shower head is high-flow and, as a result, pretty loud. So, I figured I could sneak this fart out without her noticing. To my extreme shock, I accidently crapped in the shower. It came out so fast I barely noticed it and it felt like a normal fart. My cousin immediately notices what I had done and starts freaking out. She jumps out of the shower like there was a poisonous snake in it. Then she starts giving me all this shit about how I always ruin intimate moments with my immaturity. I told her I was sorry and that it was an accident. Her yelling was so loud her roommates could hear every detail of our argument, and I could hear them snickering on the other side of the door. Anyway, she screams at me to get out and that she never wants to see me again. I have never felt so bad and humiliated in my life. I could understand her reaction if this was intentional, but it clearly was not. And on top of that, all of her roommates think I'm some kind of freak
Re: My cousin dumped me because of something I had no control over.
Ol_Drippy, Fri Nov 03 2006, 12:35AM
ahhh that sucls im sorry wu
Ol_Drippy, Fri Nov 03 2006, 12:35AM
ahhh that sucls im sorry wu
Re: My cousin dumped me because of something I had no control over.
A Drunk, Fri Nov 03 2006, 12:46AM
Wu, u have to best stories. We need a picture to judge her.
A Drunk, Fri Nov 03 2006, 12:46AM
Wu, u have to best stories. We need a picture to judge her.
Re: My cousin dumped me because of something I had no control over.
Noname|Boom, Fri Nov 03 2006, 01:04AM
^ Yeah, picture would be nice.
That sucks, man.
Noname|Boom, Fri Nov 03 2006, 01:04AM
^ Yeah, picture would be nice.
That sucks, man.
Re: My cousin dumped me because of something I had no control over.
emerican, Fri Nov 03 2006, 01:16AM
well wu, you are a freak.
LOL another instant classic in the series of wu's cousin.
emerican, Fri Nov 03 2006, 01:16AM
well wu, you are a freak.
LOL another instant classic in the series of wu's cousin.
Re: My cousin dumped me because of something I had no control over.
kevin, Fri Nov 03 2006, 01:25AM
What you need to do is go out to the store and buy some Depends
kevin, Fri Nov 03 2006, 01:25AM
What you need to do is go out to the store and buy some Depends
Re: My cousin dumped me because of something I had no control over.
Angry Leprechau, Fri Nov 03 2006, 02:24AM
wahaahah, i can see that...squeezing out a surprise turd in the shower. how can your cousin think that immaturity?
Angry Leprechau, Fri Nov 03 2006, 02:24AM
wahaahah, i can see that...squeezing out a surprise turd in the shower. how can your cousin think that immaturity?
Re: My cousin dumped me because of something I had no control over.
A Drunk, Fri Nov 03 2006, 03:09AM
You should of done it in her face
A Drunk, Fri Nov 03 2006, 03:09AM
You should of done it in her face
Re: My cousin dumped me because of something I had no control over.
kd., Fri Nov 03 2006, 05:42AM
Could this be the end of the sought after cousin series... Find out in the next chapter of Wu's Cousin!!!!!
kd., Fri Nov 03 2006, 05:42AM
Could this be the end of the sought after cousin series... Find out in the next chapter of Wu's Cousin!!!!!
Re: My cousin dumped me because of something I had no control over.
Aks, Fri Nov 03 2006, 06:50AM
Omg wu !!! i dont know what to say!! what come in my mind is that proverbe ... u know the one that says: Shit Happen !!! you are a living proof dude !!
hope that everything goes for the best!
Aks, Fri Nov 03 2006, 06:50AM
Omg wu !!! i dont know what to say!! what come in my mind is that proverbe ... u know the one that says: Shit Happen !!! you are a living proof dude !!
hope that everything goes for the best!
Re: My cousin dumped me because of something I had no control over.
kd., Fri Nov 03 2006, 07:30AM
I love how every time Wu posts a new cousin thread, the people who are fairly new to the forums think it's true and laugh their ass off. I know it's not, but I still laugh my ass off.
kd., Fri Nov 03 2006, 07:30AM
I love how every time Wu posts a new cousin thread, the people who are fairly new to the forums think it's true and laugh their ass off. I know it's not, but I still laugh my ass off.
Re: My cousin dumped me because of something I had no control over.
AwsedreswA, Fri Nov 03 2006, 09:51AM
You mean people post thing that aren't true?
NO WAY!!
Wu, tell her that she just makes you feel that comfortable, and that that action was a sign proving you two are meant to be together.
Advice for the future, if a woman freaks out like there is a poisonous snake,.... YOU FAUCKING TREAT IT LIKE ONE. No matter what it is, you shoulda been like........ "flashback/dream sequence"....
"Aight mate, this is the corn spekled brown momba. Native to dormatory bathroom showers and known to not be shy, SO LOOK OUT, It'll bite 'cha. Now what I'm gonna do is try to sneak up on him and grab him by the colla so he cant go messin' with any sheilas. I gottem, Krikey!, thats a big one, better get him back in the comode with the rest of his family."
Women like it when you have a controled freak out to their obviously histerical freak out, instead of immediately jumping into the arguement you win in context, but lose in eternity.
Since you didn't attack the snake and make the shower safe; I suggest you chaulk it up to oopsIcrappedmypants-itis, and/or taco bell.
Now, as for preventing this. Always get out of the shower to fart, even if you don't have company; the heat and water act as a blanket trapping in poisonous gases. If there are people outside of the bathroom, then put the towel around you sopping wet, step out of the bathroom and fart. If their was anyone watching you, ask if they smell something buring, this will explain the reason you got out of shower while it was running and will set up their suspicions of there really being something burning once they smell your flatulance.
-- This has been part 4 in the valuable advice from awse series --
AwsedreswA, Fri Nov 03 2006, 09:51AM
You mean people post thing that aren't true?
NO WAY!!
Wu, tell her that she just makes you feel that comfortable, and that that action was a sign proving you two are meant to be together.
Advice for the future, if a woman freaks out like there is a poisonous snake,.... YOU FAUCKING TREAT IT LIKE ONE. No matter what it is, you shoulda been like........ "flashback/dream sequence"....
"Aight mate, this is the corn spekled brown momba. Native to dormatory bathroom showers and known to not be shy, SO LOOK OUT, It'll bite 'cha. Now what I'm gonna do is try to sneak up on him and grab him by the colla so he cant go messin' with any sheilas. I gottem, Krikey!, thats a big one, better get him back in the comode with the rest of his family."
Women like it when you have a controled freak out to their obviously histerical freak out, instead of immediately jumping into the arguement you win in context, but lose in eternity.
Since you didn't attack the snake and make the shower safe; I suggest you chaulk it up to oopsIcrappedmypants-itis, and/or taco bell.
Now, as for preventing this. Always get out of the shower to fart, even if you don't have company; the heat and water act as a blanket trapping in poisonous gases. If there are people outside of the bathroom, then put the towel around you sopping wet, step out of the bathroom and fart. If their was anyone watching you, ask if they smell something buring, this will explain the reason you got out of shower while it was running and will set up their suspicions of there really being something burning once they smell your flatulance.
-- This has been part 4 in the valuable advice from awse series --
Re: My cousin dumped me because of something I had no control over.
BuBBLe GooSe, Fri Nov 03 2006, 10:35AM
Wu, just tell her that the turd was a sign of affection, as in...
BuBBLe GooSe, Fri Nov 03 2006, 10:35AM
Wu, just tell her that the turd was a sign of affection, as in...
Re: My cousin dumped me because of something I had no control over.
Pac-Man, Fri Nov 03 2006, 01:28PM
I love these stories. I think I'm going to go home and look in forum archives and save them all to my computer. Copyright 2006 Wu-Banga, of course
I love you Wu!
Pac-Man, Fri Nov 03 2006, 01:28PM
kddude wrote ...
I love how every time Wu posts a new cousin thread, the people who are fairly new to the forums think it's true and laugh their ass off. I know it's not, but I still laugh my ass off.
yup I love how every time Wu posts a new cousin thread, the people who are fairly new to the forums think it's true and laugh their ass off. I know it's not, but I still laugh my ass off.
I love these stories. I think I'm going to go home and look in forum archives and save them all to my computer. Copyright 2006 Wu-Banga, of course I love you Wu!
Re: My cousin dumped me because of something I had no control over.
Kalibur, Fri Nov 03 2006, 01:46PM
I think we should start a forum just for Wu and his cousin storys
Kalibur, Fri Nov 03 2006, 01:46PM
I think we should start a forum just for Wu and his cousin storys
Re: My cousin dumped me because of something I had no control over.
aborted fetus, Fri Nov 03 2006, 09:46PM
Wu, you need to get some new material.
aborted fetus, Fri Nov 03 2006, 09:46PM
Wu, you need to get some new material.
Re: My cousin dumped me because of something I had no control over.
Wu-banga, Fri Nov 03 2006, 10:19PM
I was thinking the same thing fetus, I feel like a washed up old geezer that has to rehash used ideas that are bland, but idiots still buy into it (Diddy anyone?)
j/k im the idiot not you guys
you've been lacking as well fetus, step up to the plate bitch
Wu-banga, Fri Nov 03 2006, 10:19PM
I was thinking the same thing fetus, I feel like a washed up old geezer that has to rehash used ideas that are bland, but idiots still buy into it (Diddy anyone?)
j/k im the idiot not you guys
you've been lacking as well fetus, step up to the plate bitch
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